Resolutions & Reality

We are almost a month into 2009. It astounds me that so much time has elapsed already. So many of us were elated to usher 2008 out and welcome this bright, shiny new year. I know I was. And with this anticipation of something novel, something new, came all these expectations for change.

Indeed we have already seen a historic change in government with last Tuesday's inauguration ceremony, and so much hope is resting on that shift in power. In the same way, I have so much hope for this year and I have a list of resolutions to prove it.

But here it is, almost February, and I look at the changes I intended opposed to the ones I have actually maintained, and the disparity is staggering. Yes, I have followed through with certain promises to myself (drinking water, doing pilates) but I have so much farther to go in regard to countless other aspects of my life.

I've been thinking over how change and personal betterment is such a universal trait. I'm convinced New Yorkers (and probably Americans in general) take it to extremes, especially when it comes to achievement and appearance, but we all want to become.

As I grow older and usher in year after new year, I am more and more aware of how I am in a constant state of becoming, in one way or another. I'm reminded of that Wendell Barry poem that ends with that simple yet elusive phrase "practice resurrection".

For me, that phrase challenges a renewal in all areas of life, from relationships to physics, emotions to living Spirit-filled. But when it comes to living out this resurrection, I often get caught in the urgency for change, forgetting it is a process that won't occur overnight.

We are in the midst of winter, the season for dormancy. Yet things are still in motion and I have a hope that spring is coming, we will grow again. But, seasons are gradual things and mirror the way we have to change. In a society so caught up with instant gratification, coming to this realization is painful, but so is growth.

Remaining true to the daily practice of living well, making the right decisions that will inspire change is the only route to resurrection.